Monday, July 31, 2006

Drink or Drown

Well I had the pleasure of my first innertube experience I have had in a very long time. The last time I rode an innertube down a river was back in the day - i was well below driving age, when we would take our annual family trip to Helen, Ga. and tube down the river. I found this great fun, cold as hell, and exciting. (We even saw Conway Twitty and George Jones at this event - bonus days? oh yeah) So, tubing as a juvinile was great fun

However, I recently tubed on a nice warm Georgia river and must say it was quite fun. Lots of sun, and lots and lots of beer. A canoe accompanied us and kept everyone with a cold beverage in had. Unfortunately, it is difficult to realize how much consumption has occurred. I never had that, "gawd I'm so drunk" feeling when I stand up from the sitting position, but let me tell you, getting out of that tube was a potentially life changing experience. I'm told I behaved fairly well as the wifey was there, but just durn I remember standing up and being all woozy. Good times, and I think everyone else was in the same condition.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Getting Old is Hard to Do

I injured my left ankle while running at 10:30 down a little residential street near my house. I really enjoy the late night running when it finally cools off and there is little traffic. So, I beleive I was listening to some enrique iglesies when I finally started to pick up some speed and all the sudden my ankle was turning and I was deciding how I should fall (eat pavement or roll?). Fortunately I didn't injure myself in the fall, but durn if I didn't hurt my ankle.

So I did what any young, somewhat fit, american male would do, I started trying to keep running. Amazingly I made it home, and was in pain, but not that bad. the shin splints were much worse. However, I had to play golf the next day. I was fine for the first 7 holes. Then things went bad. I reinjured it on the last hole. painful.

So, I then tryed to play golf again. heinious idea. Was supposed to play on Saturday, but I canceled. I guess I'll just be sitting at home, watching HBO and icing my foot, like I am right now, at work.

Monday, July 24, 2006

on the DL

I just rediscovered music downloads. oh my.

Kip on Soul Mates

LaFawnduh is *the* best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm 100% positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace out.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Bob Vila Strikes Back - The Empire Emerges

Damn if I didn't actually get some shit done this weekend. I installed a barsink (I don't care if that's not one word. Mine is one-word worthy). The bar area of my house has been a bit untidy since move-in. Somehow, I never bothered to install the electrical outlets or fasten down the countertops. (Well I still haven't installed interior doors, but we aren't even going to go there.) So, my barsink looks fabulous. There are under-counter lights, electrical outlets, and a wall-switch. As a bonus, two other outlets in the general area started working too. I mean seriously, as if...

I even have the thing plumbed. Well, the drain leaks, but lets not get greedy here. The drain system under that part of the house had to be re-vamped, as well as the hot and cold water pipes. However, the drain leak should be a speedy fix, so the thing should be operational in, I dunno, a month or so...

As I was cleaning up and admiring my handi-work, A-rod, the tenant comes home and reports her A/C isn't working. This is a problem that the A/C people were called to repair last weekend as well. As I suspected, the drain lines are flawed because they weren't installed with enough slope to allow proper drainage. Did I call someone to tell me this??

Hell no, I am the illegitimate love child of Martha Stewart and Bob Vila. I don't need the A/C man unless something is wrong with the unit itself. So, I trekked it to Lowes for the 15th time and bought the supplies. The drain line now appears to have a nice consistent slope and went from a 3/4" pipe to a 1 1/2" pipe,

So now I have two functioning drains, and found out a head buzz from pipe glue is way over-rated.

New Sheets

Wifey went and bought new sheets today. They are pretty and something like 350 thread count. But they still aren't soft. Double washed and not soft. You have to buy 500+ thread count sheets for the insta-soft feel I've become accustomed to. Guess I'm just a Sheet Snob.

Wonder if you can get sheets at the Goodwill. I bet they're soft.

Well it is Sunday Afterall

I had one of those odd moments today in the car. I was headed to Lowes at 11:00, which here in the south is serious get dressed up and go to church time. But I was driving to Lowes and thinking about the fact that I haven't really attended church regularly in, well its been awhile.

But I remembered the first time I really think God answered a prayer of mine. I still remember that night well. I was probably 9 or 10. Attending Camp Winshape, which if you don't know is the center of the Truett Cathy (aka Chick-fil-A) God-Fearing Universe. There, we were involved in many activities and this was my first experience to "city-boy" camp. It was rather odd, and I was bored most of the time. I honestly don't remember a thing about it, except the fact that my first dog, Abbie, went missing on the day I first phoned my parents. Abbie was a wonderful golden retriever. She was my first dog and I think I was inspired to have her after reading Where the Red Fern Grows.

But have her I did and I loved that dog. Needless to say, I was distraught when my parents told me she had run away. I cried and cried. So sad, my baby had run away. We had daily devotionals at Winshape, and I remember asking everyone to pray for the return of my pup. For good measure, I stayed up most of the night crying about my loss and begging that God please help return her. He must have heard me because I called my parents the next day, and low and behold a nice family across town had seen her crossing their property and kept her. Not only that, but the also found her owner and didn't keep such a wonderful dog to themselves. I really think God answered my prayers that day. I hope he will answer yours.

Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Seen on Cheaters

So, you must read this and impose your best redneck voice. If you could go spend some time in a Fleetwood singlewide, that would probably help. Shag carpet not necessary but a definite plus.

Tracy: "So you see, when he proposed we was in the Red Lobster." (big grin)

"but you see he didn have no ring. But I was eat'in a fish dinner and i had a hush puppy"

"An let me teelll you, I bit into the hushpuppy and almost swallowed that ring"

It was just the most romantic thing, but a little painful.


He actually said, "I think we are soulmates. I just can't stop thinking about you. You are clearly the one."

She actually said, "You need to get a grip on yourself. Are you gonna eat any more of these chips?"

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Tough Love

I don't really even know where to begin this post.

I spent the evening with the father of one of my very good friends. For some time one of my best friends, but I'm afraid we might have lost him for awhile. I think my friend has some sort of bi-polar/skitzophrenia disorder. He enjoyed a large quantity of drugs for a period of time and it seems to have disloged something. His father, F, came into town today. F is a rather impressive guy. Big time attorney, smart, calm, cool and collected. I've only met him once or twice, but I could see the worry in his eyes when he stepped out of the hotel and into my car. It was palpable. I've never been close to anyone whose child went missing. But it felt as though this man's child was missing. I know generally where his son is. Hell, I could call him or text him right now. But he's definitely missing. Something came loose and nothing has been the same since.

This post is about F. I felt so horrible for him. You could tell that being estranged from his son was absoulutely eating him alive and that he knew there was absolutely nothing he could do. Its terribly sad to see someone so accomplished and who seems to be such a good guy totally demoralized and frightened because he fears for his son and is afraid the boy he used to know and the young man he became may have just left us all forever. It was the unknowing, the fright. I wish I could tell him more, tell him everything is going to be ok, that his son will be the person he knows again, soon. But I couldn't.

I just have no concept of what its like to even have a child, much less fear for that child's well-being on a minute-by-minute basis. Knowing how the sadness I feel paled in comparison to what he was feeling was almost too much for me to bear.

I beleive this would be the ultimate test of pure blind faith. Faith that something, someone out there is in control and that things really do happen for reasons we are incapable of understanding. I guess I just wonder if I have it.

Old Flames

Its always interesting when two people who dated long ago decide to find each other and meet up for drinks, dinner, or who knows what. So many questionmarks. Possible more than on any blind date. This is serious fodder for a new reality show. I suggest integrating the bubble commentary as seen on the famous "Blind Date." Lets do a little he's thinking she's thinking.

She's Thinking:

Is it a date? Will he offer to pay? Where will we go? Will old flames be rekindled only to be doused by reality? Is he fat? Will those old feelings of passion re-emerge? Can we just sit and eat as "friends"? Will he try and give me a "good night kiss"..will I like it? maybe more?
Will he talk about his wife? Will he squirm when I ask? What are his intentions? Are the noble? Does he love her? What about his kids? Are they good kids? Is he a good dad?

He's Thinking:

I wonder what she looks like? I hope she's still hot.. Is she seeing anyone? Is this going to be awkward? Wonder if she's seeing anyone? Think she'd still be interested in me?
Is she goign to ask about my wife? I hope not. Hmmm. wonder how the pictures of the kid will go over? Will she order the lobster like she always did? Should I pay? I should pay.
Will she still think i'm good looking? Will we still have that old connection?

Well, here we go....

tune in at 11

Friday, July 14, 2006

Of Closed Doors & Pencils

This post requires visulaization. Picture yourself if you like.

I was talking to a friend of mine who works at a huge law firm and is a very successful attorney when she described a really, really great idea she had just conceived. (Roll the mental footage)

Fist, you find a yellow #2 pencil that hasn't been sharpened just yet.
DECISION: The more advanced test would use a perfectly round, skinny pencil, the less advanced should use the old school octagonal kind.

Second, close your office door. Lock it.

Now, drop your pants. (yes, underwear and all)

Finally, taking the pencil, see if you can hold it up using your butt cheek alone. No cheating

Accoding to my friend, who performed this self examination in a large, high rise law building, you butt is simply too fat if you can hold up a pencil in this manner.

If you actually go through with this, I hope you at least have good sense not to tell anyone.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

wurkin it...

i had an idea for a post... its kinda hazy. anyways, I pretty much worked in the yard all weekend. nice to be home. still left town - to ATL for mil's b-day. am tired now and not really thinking straight and don't know that I have much to say.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

A response (a bit non-sensical)

A good friend of mine once said, "Its the journey, not the destination that matters." You see, the problem is I'm a destination kind of guy. I want to get there and do. But once I'm there, I'm thinking of the next step. Where is this going? When is this over? Do I really have to sit through this? Can't I just get a clerk to take care of this? Its terribly difficult to just live in the moment and be happy with whatever it is I have or wherever it is I am. I'm always looking for something better, always trying to push myself to be "out there." And exactly WTF does that mean? out there? Can you ever get there?

From wanting my house to look better, to wanting to learn a new skill, to meeting new people, it seems like the horizon is further away every time I look. There are so many things I want to do and experience. Its like I can't get there fast enough. But when you're there, its just opens your eyes to new options.

I try and tell myself that I'm not going to get there and I need to be happy with the here and now. Its damn hard to do. Continuous improvement is a mantra. A way of life. I just can't sit still. Waiting may possibly be the most painful, and constant activity ever endured.