This post requires visulaization. Picture yourself if you like.
I was talking to a friend of mine who works at a huge law firm and is a very successful attorney when she described a really, really great idea she had just conceived. (Roll the mental footage)
Fist, you find a yellow #2 pencil that hasn't been sharpened just yet.
DECISION: The more advanced test would use a perfectly round, skinny pencil, the less advanced should use the old school octagonal kind.
Second, close your office door. Lock it.
Now, drop your pants. (yes, underwear and all)
Finally, taking the pencil, see if you can hold it up using your butt cheek alone. No cheating
Accoding to my friend, who performed this self examination in a large, high rise law building, you butt is simply too fat if you can hold up a pencil in this manner.
If you actually go through with this, I hope you at least have good sense not to tell anyone.