Damn I'm tired

yet another night it was difficult to sleep. May have been my own damn fault since I lounged around all day. Wound up going for a run at 10:30 or so. Hard to run during the day since ist so damn hot around here. I need to take off 15 pounds or so. I wonder if i can getterdun over the summer. Maybe I'll post my weight and see how that goes. or maybe not.

So the vacay was good, but i'm exhausted.

Woefully Middleclass

A friend recently said, "Making big plans for Memorial Day is SO middle class"

After a good, rather unplanned Memorial Day weekend, I feel obliged to evaluate this statement in light of my personal experience. I must say, I rather disagree.

My weekend started out with a solid dose of yardwork and general work on my house. (btw - the bathroom is coming along nicely.) I then decided we should go spend the day on the lake with Boone and Arod. I can't say I have ever really spent the day in the lake. We arrived at 11, ice the beer, walked down to the dock, grabbed the nearest flotation device and began an 8 hour oddysey of waterlogging our bodies in the murky waters of Lake Sinclair.

As a child, my parents never showed much interest in a Lake of any sort. In fact, they are Vacation Nomads. We don't own a lake home, a time share (though I was 12 and toured one and would have bought in RIGHT THEN if it were up to me), or a condo. We could, but we don't. My only visits to the lake were as part of the annual Parker Family Reunion, with some of the oddest relatives I can admit to having. Hence, the idea of leisurely floating in the lake, drinking beer and sunning one's self was quite foreign to me. We are people of motion, working in the yard or traveling on a multipart vacation. We simply don't sit still well.

However, I found this day of communing with the fishes, the American heritage of Budweiser in a can, and multiple applications of sunscreen quite theraputic. We didn't even have a boat or other vestige of marine wealth at our disposal. We stayed the night (unplanned as well) and continued to enjoy the friendship and beverages on the dock till the late hours when even the mosquitos have gone to bed.

And I must say, though it may be somewhat middle class to enjoy frolicking in the dirty waters surrounded by trailers and people who actually work for a living, I think its great fun and rises well above this insulting misnomer brandied about by someone who proclaims to be of octogenerian and the shining son of a legal dynasty.

Now, who has that foam noodle shaped like a devil's head?

Randomness

I'm damn tired. (warning this may turn into a rant...)

But things are going well. The tub works. I'm at a great job this summer. I was actually very impressed as they bid a paralegal farewell after 15 years. There was a huge spread of food worthy of a small wedding reception, a nice gift and lots of love for this lady who apparently worked her ass of for all those years. It was very impressive to see people who appeared to really care about their people and maybe actually like each other.

School is good. Guy rambles on and we surf the internet and he shows us new ways to check things out. RSS is quite cool. I need to figure that out for this site.

Quote of the day: "Masse on Brandi...."YES!""

Hope you are having a good day. I think i'm down to one reader or less now.

Damnit i had a good idea for a post

And totally can't recall it now. So blonde

Major Milestone

So, if you remember the jacuzzi tub I mentioned some time ago - I finally got that damn thing installed. Yes, I have gotten in it and its fabulous. Now its time for the rest of the bathroom to go in! Score.

SUMMER

Well Summertime is finally here. No better time to dress in a wool suit and go get coffee..er I mean clerk... for some law firm. Also, no better time to take a class. At least you get a good grade. Speaking of grades, they are rolling in from last semester. Average and rather arbitrary as usual.

So, before I get to work, I have a week to work on my house. This house is a perpetual project and I really think I'm going to try and get it somewhat finished this summer. At least where we have such luxuries as interior doors and a master bed/bathroom. Maybe even finish the fireplaces. That just can't be too much to ask.

Bumpersticker

"Hell was full so I came BACK"

What does that mean? Why would anyone put that on their car? I just don't get it sometimes.

Moving on

Well I had my crim pro exam today on two hours sleep. Thats three down, one to go. Something like 9 hrs sleep in three days. Faced with a dilema of taking one or two summer school classes. Need to get my CPA wrapped up. Four days to learn a course worth of Domestic Relations. Not a problem. Ready to have my week off before work starts. Ready to start work. Trying to figure out my schedule for next semester, which implies planning an entire year which seems a bit much. Yard's a mess. Maybe work on that tomorrow. Going to Swainsboro for my mother's birthday which i almost forgot but dad and lzl reminded me. Thank god.

going to drink some wine and watch a movie. Chunky Monky anyone???

Finals, Take-Homes, and Cramming

I hate take homes. They are just too much damn work. Give me an exam and a deadline and a time and place to show up and I'm cool. Then I'll take my ass home and drink a beer instead of stress for however many hours i get to take the exam home.

Finals - this is the most arbitrary and irrational act of law school. Just throw them down the stairs, assign some grades and lets all go home happy.

Cramming - its a way of life. Wonder what I'm gonna do when i get a real job....

King of the Road - NYC - Pennsyltucky

Ahh, spring break arrived at last. I celebrated with a trip to see my biology professor from community college who has retired to Pennsylvania. I have flow to see them several time, but this trip was meant to be driven. So, I started out in my Ford Explorer, (yes a solo road trip in a gas guzzling SUV makes the ethicists cringe, but what can i say, SUV's eat the ozone, hey, everybody's got to eat something*)

After 14 hours of driving through the states of GA, SC, NC, VA, WV, MD, and PA, i finally arrive in Pennsylvania. My friends live in a beautiful 1900's farm house on 40+ acres and have more china, silver and fine antiques than anyone i have ever seen. Oddly enough, the also continue to possess every magazine, book or scrap of paper that ever crossed their paths. Therefore, the beautiful home is packed full of stuff and navigable via pigpath to whichever room you seek. However, once you arrive at said room, you will find there is really nowhere left for you in that room. its a frustrating process. Furthermore, the chairs being as old as the house, you wonder if its going to break each time you place your ass in it. It is also important to remember a person with advanced Parkinsons lives here, so i don't see how he gets around, but he does. He also creates some beautiful artwork.

All-in-all, that leg of the trip was successful. I saw my friends, he gave me some of his artwork, i procured meats, beer, and stone for my patio. Good times.

Great times were had as i drove to NYC to see Surrency, a college roommate. We had dinner at Brother Jimmy's - a fine BBQ establishment featuring "White-Trash-Wednesdays" where one got 25% off with an id from a southern state. After all the wings, ribs, and beer I could consumer, we reminisced about good times had in my trailer at 5 Aurora Way.

The trip home was uneventful. 12 hours - oh yeah - i got pulled over but the police in Duluth Georgia. I swerved as I was talking on the phone and Blue Lights - he thought i was drunk or running drugs so he searched my car - "whats all this meat for?..... Do you drive stones back and forth?....What do you do anyways???... You sure you haven't been doing drugs??.... And why were you in New York City again???" All fun questions with strange answers. I must say he was professional, courteous and thorough. Thank you Mr. Policeman. I probably needed to stand on the road and take a break anyways.


*Celia Rivenbark, We're Not Better than you, Just Purtier.

Birthday in Review... what i remember of it

I must say the birthday celebration this year was tremendous. Great gifts - thank you everyone! Also, three continuous days of partying and friends. Good times.

Special moments:

Statesboro Moment: "Legends...CLOSED, Nickel.....CLOSED, But now all we got is the FIESTY GOAT... what the hell is that?"

Pyro Moment: After Mado threw the close beer bottle 1/3 full of gasoline, shattering it on the brick left in front of the fire, and the resulting fireball, and the subsequent small fire under the fence near the neighbor's garage, "It seemed like the thing to do at the time??"

Ghetto Moment: "I love it when white people talk black" Chi Chester's Customer after overhearing Liz and Leslie make birthday celebration plans in what is not their typical dialect.

Macon Moment: "Why is that old woman staring at me??? I mean my god, Tara only wears body paint when she goes out in Statesboro..."

Best Voice Mail EVER Moment: HAPPY BIRTHDAY old shit, I don't know how old you are, i think its like old as time, but you're old!!! So happy birhday i hope you get really drunk tonight or tomorrow or sometime very near in the future. SO, Call me back, Its your little sister!!

Bowling Moment:
So... somebody ask those kids what prom they were at earlier.... WESTSSIDE!!!!
Seriously dude, That chick in the yellow dress is wearing a garter belt... look over there!!!

Shammy Moment: Girl Scout Cookie shots with Dargan's Sister, who also attended the fabulous Mercer Institute of Law Training.

A truly happy birthday!!!

28

So its my birthday. I'm two years away from the big three-O. Well the 20's have been good to me. I often wonder what would have happened had I chosen to become a male giggalo in the Carribean.... But here i am, Giggalo in Macon, a man about the town.

And now back to reality. My birthday is really a day I wish telekenesis were possible. I just want people to read my mind and know what I want. Its just too shameless to advertise one's birthday. I want you to just know and to bring me a present. Similar to the thought process of a 3yr old? Well, yes, but i don't care - its my day.

SO, What have you got for me?

The Swing of Things

Finals are coming. Its like the approach of D-day. I keep printing outlines, organizing things, and all to go take some test that is graded in some arbitrary manner. I just want to scream, "WHO CARES??"

Well, i think the Bar does, and i want my bar card, so that makes me care. Domestic relations, jurisprudence (i'll give you a dollar if you can tell me what that means, because after a semester, I'm more confused than I was when i started), criminal procedure, and evidence. Woo Hoooo.... getterdun. Only one more year after this...

So I Drive A Popular Vehicle

Standing outside Joshua Cup, the following was observed:

A nice couple was walking toward the parking lot. So was a Bibb Co. Sheriff and his wife. The Nice Couple started to get into a Red 2003 Ford Explorer, opened the doors, sat in the seats, (like normal people do) and noticed, "This is not our car!" But it was my car and I had the pleasure of watching the whole thing.

Maybe I need to be more vigilant about being sure the doors are locked.

BIG LOVE....aka INSANITY

A Disclaimer: First, talking about yourself, movies, tv shows and pop culture are way over blogged. But hey, What the hell else do we have to talk about?

HBO has a new show, Big Love, which I'm sure many have seen. Lets just say it ain't no Sopranos. This damn show is absolutely PAINFUL to watch. This dude has three wives - frankly, this is the definition of INSANITY in my book.

Personally I have a lovely wife, a beautiful tenant who lives in our apartment upstairs and a fabulous friend who are all, wait for it..... female! Now, the needs of these folks can be a bit more than I can handle from time to time. Being married to all three and living in two houses and having one wanting a car and being the sole income earner and a myriad of other considerations.....I'm about to explode.

Simply - this TV show is like watching a horror movie. You just can't look away but you know you don't really want to know if Candyman is going to appear or not. Its a forgone conclusion, Candyman IS going to come out and kill everyone and there will be nothing left. Just like all these women are going to knife each other and take the idiot husband with them. Maybe they'll have to cancel the show and film more episodes of Entourage. That would make me most happy.

57 channels and nuthin on.

Home Early

They say home is where you hang your hat. I don't wear hats, but if I did, it would likely be laying on a table, on the floor, or somewhere chewed up by Dora, my dog. Sometimes I utterly hate coming home. There are dishes, clothes, and godknowswhat on every surface available.
There are no doors, no trim and the place can look rather unfinished. Which would be fine if it were clean. The dog doesn't help much as she sheds coarse brown hairs like a bad habit.

Its not a total pig-stye, more like cluttered creative space.

I'm always thinking I need to clean or do some carpentry. Its exhausting.

I REALLY REALLY WANT MY DAMN CPA LICENSE

In a fit of stupidity/clarity (which I often find go hand in hand) I decided to get a Masters Degree in Accounting. Still under this deceiving fog, I decided to go work for KPMG (www.kpmg.com) and try and receive my CPA certification. This was back during the Anderson/Enron debacle and we were give the privilege of waiting all summer, and part of the fall, until October 1 to start. I should have gone to work somewhere else because I knew I was going to law school at the first possible moment and I totally should have known, after SEVEN years in a school of "higher education." that Law School was most definitely going to start before October 1.

But, hindsight is 20/20 and I started work, only to quit 21 months later. I need 24 months of work and 4,000 hours to qualify. Yes, I have passed the HEINOUS exam. So, now I only need 200 hours over the course of three months to get the privilege of applying to the Board for licensure. However, in order to get those 200 hours, I had to beg a friend to PLEASE PLEASE give me some research to do, at my leisure preferably.

He said the assignments are coming....I'm still waiting for him to call.

Golf

Golf - Whoever came up with the Scramble had absolutely, and I do mean absolutely NOTHING else to do. I decided to participate in the Law School's annual "golf tournament" and scrambled to find a team. Two guys ditched me and a team was fielded at the last minute.

Let me tell you, the scramble stopped as soon as our admission fee was paid. We played eighteen after a "shot-gun start." I used to play back in the day when they actually used a shotgun to tell everyone to get going. No shotgun today. And the disappointment only increased after that. My golf game sucked, my team-mate's golf games sucked equally as much or moreso, and we did manage to play bogy golf as a team, each man hitting the "best ball." Let me tell you, there were no "good balls" to choose from. So, 5 and a half hours later, (yes, we were riding in carts too) we finished with a whopping 84 to clarify any misunderstandings at who sucked the most.

Now, I must say the concept of skipping class, drinking beer, riding around in carts, and hitting golf balls sounds enticing, but next year I will opt to do all those things right by myself.

Jacuzzi Tub

I bought a jacuzzi tub. It got to my house about eighteen months ago. Its a glorious thing. There's just one small problem. Its sitting on the unfinished floor of the masterbath which is through the unfinished master bedroom. Damn I want to take a bath.

I bought this house in April of 2004. It seemed like the thing to to a the time.

However, now as I sit here looking at this monster of a bath tub sitting on the unfinished floor, all I want is a hot bath with some jets. That is simply not too much to ask.

I have to finish something soon.

You Only Get One Call

Jail... Its an unpleasant place to be. John recently went to jail. After some antics, he was granted his single phone call. He chose the most important person he knew - Mark. The phone rang and was answered by Officer Johnson who was giving Mark a ride to the jail. Mark was arrested for misdemeanor trespass to his neighbors. Officer Johnson replied that Mark would be to the jail soon.

While in prison these Mark and John met "DARK." A Jamaican by birth, Mr. Dark had entered the lucrative US drug trade and had been successful enough to have four gold caps made for his front teeth. Even had them engraved with his new name. DARK. I hear he does a booming business.