Saturday, December 09, 2006

The System

I may be stealing someone else's post with this, but apparantly some foster parent put their own child's christmas wish list on the "adopt-a-foster-kid" list put out by dfacs. So, instead of a list of presents for the named 1 yr. old, there were things on the list such as a battery-operated ride-on toy. These gifts would clearly be enjoyed by their four year old.

So, I'm going to do a bit of point-counterpoint as, though this is plain wrong... I kinda see what they're doing here...

First, do you remember your first Christmas? I don't but I sure as hell remember being four of five. I personally got a die-cast aluminum ride on tractor (john deere of course) from my grandparents. So, the four year old clearly has the opportunity to have a memorable Christmas. What about the morality here? Ever other day of the year the biological child must receive less attention because these people have personally accepted the burden of society and take care of someone else's child. Financially, these people probably are spending their own money on the foster child. Overall, these nice foster parents are giving and sacrificing in a very personal way to place this child in a stable, loving environment.

However, should my friend be buying presents for someone else's kid? Yes, its deceptive to put that a 1 yr old wants a ride-on-big-kids-toy. But, at the same time, they can't ask for help with their own kid. What to do? Maybe the state isn't providing enough support for these people... Maybe they need more help than they are getting? I don't think its right that these parents asked for their own kids gifts, but clearly something more must be wrong here.


Ally said...

Well, perhaps your interpretation is the real deal, or perhaps they are just selfish, wanting more "stuff" for their child than the foster child they have pledged to take care of. It just makes me sad to think that the one year old might not be getting anything for Christmas (and gifts intended for her given to another child), whether she'll remember it or not, particularly when she qualified to be on the DFACs list.

The deceit really bothers me, particularly if this family has cable, a DVD player, lots of CDs, and well this rant could go on entirely too long. And yes, under either interpretation, something is wrong here.

Regardless it was fun shopping for a child's entire Christmas, and I hope this family has a merry Christmas.

icadle said...

My fundamental problem here is the deceit. Here, these people are supposed to be custodians for the state. Trustee's of this child if you will. Yet, they've apparntely used this position in a clearly improper manner.

Ally said...

Well if I can ever get the child's DFACs worker to call me back, we'll know if (a) the child is actually a mutant giant and really does wear a 4T and need a motorized jeep despite her young age of one year old, (b) her foster mother is a lying schemer, or (c) the foster mother is dumb, can't count, and thus didn't realize the child was 4 years old.

Ally said...

Well my option (1) comes the closest to being on target. I just spoke with the DFACS case worker, who was very nice, and she said that she questioned the foster parent about the size too. The foster parent showed her some of the child's clothing, and it was a 3T, which she's starting to outgrow. The DFACS worker said that the child was just tall and big. She also said the foster parent spoiled her rotten. So there we go; I stand corrected. But I'm still not buying a motorized jeep for a one year old.

p.s. In case you were wondering, she said the next oldest child in the home was 5.