Still Lawyering.....

In said class as i type. On call today, so blogging may not be such a fine idea, but right....

So, A and I are engaged in a blogging discussion, wherein she simply does not understand the utility of a Big Mac. I mean with all that special sauce, she must be blind to miss this. A alleges that fast food is making children fat and malnourished. I can't seem to agree. Personally, I find this position as illogical as blaming Playboy for the large number of blind young men out there. Or we could sue Nintendo for the kick ass hand eye coordination I now possess and exercise my Ninja skilz on random people on the street.

I mean fast food is tasty, its inexpensive, and has at least some nutritional value. Granted, its chock full of preservatives and low-grade, highly processed food products, but people have been eating those since man discovered the fire. Probably before.

Yes, I have seen Fast Food Nation. There, a libelous hippie, organic gnawing granola nut goes on a McDonalds bings. I mean this guy didn't get a fry after school every day, he got a Big Mac, a Fry, and Apple Pie, maybe a shake and hell, why not, another cheeseburger. Did he got to football practice afterward? Hell no, he went back to his cubicle and languished away with the rest of corporate america. I think that points out the problem very well. Its not the fault purley of what they eat, but the fact that kids don't get out and play as much anymore. When I was a youngster, every time my parents drove by a McDonald's, I would pitch a fit and scream ARCHES!!! ARECHES!! ARCHES!! I WANNA GO TO THE ARCHES!! I never got fat till I got to college and started drinking beer. Why? because I always had a damn shovel in my hand or a hammer or something and I was building shit. Daming up the creek, building tree-houses, building forts, something, anything. I was active. I mowed acres and acres of grass, kayaked, backpacked, and just generally got out the house. There's your problem. Its not the fault of the people who provide me my tasty Filet-O-Fish, its the people who sit on their ass after eating two or three of them.

It & It Finally Happened

Today was big. In several ways. I finally began my third, and what I hope will be my final year as a law student. I had one class. It started at 8:30. At least if forces me out of bed. We are learning about the "Law of Lawyering," which I think should be titled the "Law of Lawyers." I love how this particular instution loves the them "Lawyering." Exactly what is lawyering anyways? I can think of Laboring, which implies sweating profusely as you turn human pack animal and ferry bricks across some sun-soaked construction site, covered in dirt and smelling like a burro, or maybe Accounting, where you look at numbers in 8 point font on a ledger size piece of paper till you eyes cross and you fingers are bloody from ten-key reclaculations. Or maybe Plumbing, where you run pipes under a house that practically sits directly on the ground or squeeze your entire arm into some dark recess trying to glue some pipes together... But I thought the act of being a lawyer was called 'Practicing" I didn't know you could lawyer as you practice, know as "Lawyering" here atop Coleman hill. Who knew? You do learn something every day.

In other "Big Day" news (i'm into the quotes today, can you tell?) WE GOT SOME DAMN DOORS UP IN HERE!! Yes, my bedroom may actually have a door sometime in, oh, the next six weeks. Its is very exciting. I purchased doors in the original style of the house and am planning on reusing the little crystal knobs b/c I think they are cool, but otherwise, they aren't warped, they have nice, smooth working hinges, and they are pre-hung, which means I may be able to install more than one door a month. This is very exciting news.

A Poem

Enjoy the pictures while you can,
Things may have not gone exactly to plan,
Cadleized is however, an industrious man.

But let this be a warning,
Because you discover one morning:

You may in fact have a couch,
You may in fact have a house.

But do not yet develop any roots--
Robert lives but down the street,
And is fastidiously muddying up his boots.

(credit to Robert, the author. MUDDY BOOTS!)

The Great Thing About Law School

Is the aboslute inefficient use of time that is allowing me to write this post. At this fabulous instution, we are afforded the opportunity to learn all about Alternative Dispute Resolution. Its is absolutely fascinating. While I have actually learned something with this course, it meets from 10-12, then from 2-4. Talk about chewing up the better part of the day and spitting it out. Minimal nutritional value to say the least. Unfortunately, as 3L's, we don't get any sort of priority (with parking or anything else) so this is the only time classrooms were available for such good learning and quality education. So, I'm sitting here making this post. Good times.

Let the Games Begin!

Well wifey has left for the beach (for 4 days!!) with her mother and Dora and I are home alone. It was my last day of work at Firm2 and here I sit on the couch, full of tasty mexican (well, moderately tasty as the new El Sombrero on Forsyth ain't much to brag about. The one downtown is tasty but this one sucks ass as my chicken fajhitas were rubbery and nothing was necessarily tasty.)

I started this lovely day at work, finished it up on the golf course, and well, now the couch. I must say I am a disgrace to home-alone celebration husbands everywhere as I have now settled in with some tasty heinekin and, you guessed it, a chick flick. Maybe even worse, North Country, that speaks of women's rights and sexual discrimination in traditionally male-dominated industry. Lets just say this is amazing. (frankly if you don't want to read my ramblings on life and politics, just stop here).

Anyways, I took labor law and am really quite liberal when it comes to equal rights. Its amazing how this movie has portrayed, in what I think is a realistic and reasonable way. Its just my sheltered mind and liberal, hippie parents never taught me how to think like this. I understand women and men are different. I don't beleive women and men are truly equal. There's just no way due to the fact that there are certain biological differences that make us just that, different. That being said, I do think most women can do the jobs of most men and that, intellecutally at least were are on equal footing. I beleive the studies that say most women are calmer and more rational men.. i think b/c I know some pretty hot-headed women, but regardless, women and men often think differently and I think we all have our own gifts.

So, its amazing to see the sexism and denigration of women portrayed in such a vivid and, what I beleive would be an accurate, if not tame, manner. In my labor law class we read some cases that illustrated this point. But the real life portrayal (at least on the big screne) is harsh and just damn. Amazing. I just can't beleive how people can think. I've seen this in the racial context in real life, but not so much in the sexual arena. I'm amazed. What a moving movie.

So, what else can a man say sitting on his couch at home alone on a Wednesday night?

GO GIRL POWER!!! If you think you can do it, go for it. Just don't ask me to birth a kid, cause I can't do it.

ADDENDUM: Just to prove what a dumb-ass I am, I will leave the above discussion posted, but would like to let it be know I wrote that b/f the court-room scene and should, from now on wait to post my thoughts on movies. Wifey says I have a strange way of prediciting plots and I guess I just did that subconciously with my bit of sarcasm above. If you haven't seen the movie, the you don't know how I just stuck my foot in my mouth and you should still watch it as its very moving and worthwhile.

Its going Around

Every once in awhile, especially when I'm procrastinating, I do love a good survey. Here is one that actually made me think.

Ten years ago I: (1996) Was returning from Virginia where I spent the summer as a white water raft guide for a boy scout camp. Tanned and having spent eight weeks of freedom in the hills of West Virginia taking young boys down the New River Gorge, I was returning to the Boro for my second year at East Georgia College. Though I would miss the kayaking adventures on a class IV river after dark, the group of hot Explorer Scouts (yes, they were girls) who came through out program (only to return the next year as counselors, very nice), and some really great friends, I was looking forward to furthering my education because I had finally been released from the hell of high school and was looking forward to much bigger and better things. Finally being of age, 18, I was also allowed the privilege of holding an EMT license which meant I could drive fast and cut cars apart and poke people with needles and give drugs. On my return I began working for the local ambulance service, which I started purely for reasons of going to medical school. Little did I know how much that experience would change the way I look at things for good or how I most certainly wouldn't end up in medical school. (I woulda made one helluva plastic surgeon though).

Five years ago I was: (2001) Returning from Norway, where I had suckered some nice folks from Rotary to send me for the summer on their dime. What a great trip, touring the museums of Oslo, spending most afternoons on the beaches, drinking Norwegian beer till the wee hours, sleeping through (I mean I went and put my head down right on my desk) class, and generally watching the women. Man that country is full of beautiful women. Riding the T-banne to the Ski Jump from some prior Olympics, drinking more beer, meeting new people, (my roommate from Kosovo, who was Albanian and like to have some really hot smelly sex with this girl from Italy in our tiny dorm room (gross)), and just generally lacking in most all responsibility. Returning to Georgia, getting paid $400 to stay an extra night by Norwegian Air (gotta love that), and buying a Grayco paint sprayer so I could make some mulah before returning to Athens and finishing my last year in the Macc program at UGA.

Two Years Ago I was: (2004) A new homeowner. We had gutted the thing, started re-wiring it and I was about to start law school. I think august was spent fighting with the electrical inspector. For the interim, Wifey and I had rented a home on Vineville, where the train kept us up to the wee hours and our carpenter slept in a spare bedroom and was generally nasty to all. He coined the term, "rich people pepper" (anything in a grinder), which lives on in our household to this day. The rental was a step up for me, I live without hot water or A/C for the past 2 months. Wifey was stepping down from our apartment in Atlanta and this mismatch of expectations made the living there rather tenuous. Back at our new home, I was sweating getting the sheetrock in, not knowing I would have to put a new roof on the place or replace all the hardwood floors. I was hopeful that I would be finished soon, and unwittingly naive about this whole remodeling situation. Yes, I can do each task, no, I didn't know it would take this damn long. Nor did I know law school and life would consume as much of my time as it has or that I would be getting old and just plain crazy.

One year ago I was: (2005) Clerking at a law firm, starting back to school, and you guess it, still working on this house.

Yesterday I was: Still working on the house. However, there is an apartment upstairs, there are actually stairs, and we have a wonderful tenant who helps pay the mortgage. Specifically, I was fighting with her ice-maker, which in my opinion is the bane of all appliances to install because they are a huge pain in the ass. I cooked a fabulous dinner for some friends. Probably the best lamb I have done to-date, and the company was wonderful.

Today I was: Still working on the house. (you'd have never guessed? Would you?) I installed some drip irrigation on the back portch, painted a cabinet, hung some faux wood blinds and made many a trip to Lowes. None of this would have been possible without the wonderful hot ham and cheese crossant I had this morning from the Bagelry, (which isn't as good as it once was), but was still perfect this morning as the wine drenched lamb was leaving me in need of some solid breakfast food. Now, I've had a wonderful dinner from the Steak-n-Shake am typing this blog (and noticing that the leisure has left my summers) and will be heading out to see the new movie, Talladega Nights. Don't hold your breath for a review, I'm not into that. (I bet I eat my words on this.)

An Exercise in Fraud

A friend recently told me that my summer was boring and I should write him an email that makes my summer sound interesting. Hence, I concocted the following:

(The names of the innocent have been changed, and the details are incredible distortions of any grain of truth that never existed.)

Robert,

I tried to call, but straight to voice mail. My life has been very interesting so far this summer. I have lied and cheated and cost poor, likely deserving people out of thousands and thousands, possibly millions of dollars. Wifey and I have been fighting and the last episode resulted in a stainless-steel all-clad pot flying through the kitchen window and into the new neighbor’s car. I told them to file it on their homeowner’s insurance. Screw’em.

Work is going well. I am having an affair with the managing partner’s daughter who is also married and the mother of 2. She isn’t that bad looking for a 45yr old. The partner found out and I told him to kiss my ass and that I would be taking over both his family and the firm. I plan to convert it to a torts firm in the near future.

In social news, George threw LeeAnne out the back window of her apartment upstairs where she was mauled by Dora, who is no longer self shaming, but out for blood. Dean Williams, or should I say Mary, has been coming over for mad, drunken dinner parties and I think she is next on my married women to sleep with list. I think she and Justin are actually having a torid affair, but hey, he’s almost single. Tim’s girlfriend has either drown or is MIS on some river floating trip after drinking too many segram’s cooler drinks. They are hoping to have some news by next week, but the search teams are being hampered by the massive mosquito attacks we have been having. Whoever was scared of the killer bees never even considered this. The entire city goes through intermittent periods of lockdown.

So, as woefully middle class as it may be, you can see I have been VERY BUSY!

I hope you are well.

PS – really really liked the Nobu Now Cookbook book. Call and we will discuss.

An Ankle Update

Well, the ankle has finally begun to recover. I guess I just need to accept these things no longer heal in a day or two. Several rounds of anit-inflamatories, icing it, and elevation apparently actually do work. There is a nice bruise that is just begining to form where it was most painful on the night I did the damage, so I hope that is a sign of deep, intense healing that will allow me to enjoy my 3-L year with my classmates who will be on the golf course and everywhere but at school celebrating their last year before entering (or in my case, re-entering) the real world of daily duties at something people seem to call a JOB. Seriously.

Come to think of it, my tour at two, well-respected, super-high quality firms has almost come to an end. Someone asked me what the difference between the two was, and in all honesty its difficult to define. Both firms have very intelligent people, a partnership of all ages, hard workers, and diverse practices. Both focus on law with a corporate bent, but neither are truly "corporate" firms (think office-space). The difference really lies in the people and their personalitites. Both focus on quality legal work and servicing their clients. Both focus on billable hours and keeping track of how their resources are use. Both have fun social events. I would really be honored to work, on a more full-time basis, at either of them.

So, how are they different. One had a research program I prefer, the other made more limited use of it. One allowed us access at all hours, the other didn't. One had Natalia's crabcakes, the other didn't. One had the secretaries bring breakfast on fridays, the other didn't. One had group lunch outings on a regular basis, the other didn't. So, in those ways, yes, the firms were different. But seriously, are those really differences?

I took my first job at a place where I was certain I would quit after 2 years. I knew my days were limited so I chose somewhere I could get in and get out and not make anyone angry. They did the big dinners, the fancy parties, the ridiculous Christmas extravaganza, offered "rotations" to exotic destinations (to do accounting none-the-less), and really doted on their recruits. Frankly, I hated it. I don't intend to make that same mistake again. In seeking my start for my second, and hopefully, God willing, last career. I am looking for somewhere to settle into. Somewhere I can work my ass off and be rewarded for it. Somewhere I am proud to call my place of employment and somewhere I can make people proud the chose to employ me. And though they are different, I would gladly start my legal career at either one. Let's all pray someone thinks enough of me to say, "You're hired."

Drink or Drown

Well I had the pleasure of my first innertube experience I have had in a very long time. The last time I rode an innertube down a river was back in the day - i was well below driving age, when we would take our annual family trip to Helen, Ga. and tube down the river. I found this great fun, cold as hell, and exciting. (We even saw Conway Twitty and George Jones at this event - bonus days? oh yeah) So, tubing as a juvinile was great fun

However, I recently tubed on a nice warm Georgia river and must say it was quite fun. Lots of sun, and lots and lots of beer. A canoe accompanied us and kept everyone with a cold beverage in had. Unfortunately, it is difficult to realize how much consumption has occurred. I never had that, "gawd I'm so drunk" feeling when I stand up from the sitting position, but let me tell you, getting out of that tube was a potentially life changing experience. I'm told I behaved fairly well as the wifey was there, but just durn I remember standing up and being all woozy. Good times, and I think everyone else was in the same condition.

Getting Old is Hard to Do

I injured my left ankle while running at 10:30 down a little residential street near my house. I really enjoy the late night running when it finally cools off and there is little traffic. So, I beleive I was listening to some enrique iglesies when I finally started to pick up some speed and all the sudden my ankle was turning and I was deciding how I should fall (eat pavement or roll?). Fortunately I didn't injure myself in the fall, but durn if I didn't hurt my ankle.

So I did what any young, somewhat fit, american male would do, I started trying to keep running. Amazingly I made it home, and was in pain, but not that bad. the shin splints were much worse. However, I had to play golf the next day. I was fine for the first 7 holes. Then things went bad. I reinjured it on the last hole. painful.

So, I then tryed to play golf again. heinious idea. Was supposed to play on Saturday, but I canceled. I guess I'll just be sitting at home, watching HBO and icing my foot, like I am right now, at work.

on the DL

I just rediscovered music downloads. oh my.

Kip on Soul Mates

LaFawnduh is *the* best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm 100% positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace out.

Bob Vila Strikes Back - The Empire Emerges

Damn if I didn't actually get some shit done this weekend. I installed a barsink (I don't care if that's not one word. Mine is one-word worthy). The bar area of my house has been a bit untidy since move-in. Somehow, I never bothered to install the electrical outlets or fasten down the countertops. (Well I still haven't installed interior doors, but we aren't even going to go there.) So, my barsink looks fabulous. There are under-counter lights, electrical outlets, and a wall-switch. As a bonus, two other outlets in the general area started working too. I mean seriously, as if...

I even have the thing plumbed. Well, the drain leaks, but lets not get greedy here. The drain system under that part of the house had to be re-vamped, as well as the hot and cold water pipes. However, the drain leak should be a speedy fix, so the thing should be operational in, I dunno, a month or so...

As I was cleaning up and admiring my handi-work, A-rod, the tenant comes home and reports her A/C isn't working. This is a problem that the A/C people were called to repair last weekend as well. As I suspected, the drain lines are flawed because they weren't installed with enough slope to allow proper drainage. Did I call someone to tell me this??

Hell no, I am the illegitimate love child of Martha Stewart and Bob Vila. I don't need the A/C man unless something is wrong with the unit itself. So, I trekked it to Lowes for the 15th time and bought the supplies. The drain line now appears to have a nice consistent slope and went from a 3/4" pipe to a 1 1/2" pipe,

So now I have two functioning drains, and found out a head buzz from pipe glue is way over-rated.

New Sheets

Wifey went and bought new sheets today. They are pretty and something like 350 thread count. But they still aren't soft. Double washed and not soft. You have to buy 500+ thread count sheets for the insta-soft feel I've become accustomed to. Guess I'm just a Sheet Snob.

Wonder if you can get sheets at the Goodwill. I bet they're soft.

Well it is Sunday Afterall

I had one of those odd moments today in the car. I was headed to Lowes at 11:00, which here in the south is serious get dressed up and go to church time. But I was driving to Lowes and thinking about the fact that I haven't really attended church regularly in, well its been awhile.

But I remembered the first time I really think God answered a prayer of mine. I still remember that night well. I was probably 9 or 10. Attending Camp Winshape, which if you don't know is the center of the Truett Cathy (aka Chick-fil-A) God-Fearing Universe. There, we were involved in many activities and this was my first experience to "city-boy" camp. It was rather odd, and I was bored most of the time. I honestly don't remember a thing about it, except the fact that my first dog, Abbie, went missing on the day I first phoned my parents. Abbie was a wonderful golden retriever. She was my first dog and I think I was inspired to have her after reading Where the Red Fern Grows.

But have her I did and I loved that dog. Needless to say, I was distraught when my parents told me she had run away. I cried and cried. So sad, my baby had run away. We had daily devotionals at Winshape, and I remember asking everyone to pray for the return of my pup. For good measure, I stayed up most of the night crying about my loss and begging that God please help return her. He must have heard me because I called my parents the next day, and low and behold a nice family across town had seen her crossing their property and kept her. Not only that, but the also found her owner and didn't keep such a wonderful dog to themselves. I really think God answered my prayers that day. I hope he will answer yours.

Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen.

Seen on Cheaters

So, you must read this and impose your best redneck voice. If you could go spend some time in a Fleetwood singlewide, that would probably help. Shag carpet not necessary but a definite plus.

Tracy: "So you see, when he proposed we was in the Red Lobster." (big grin)

"but you see he didn have no ring. But I was eat'in a fish dinner and i had a hush puppy"

"An let me teelll you, I bit into the hushpuppy and almost swallowed that ring"

It was just the most romantic thing, but a little painful.

Epilogue

He actually said, "I think we are soulmates. I just can't stop thinking about you. You are clearly the one."

She actually said, "You need to get a grip on yourself. Are you gonna eat any more of these chips?"

Tough Love

I don't really even know where to begin this post.

I spent the evening with the father of one of my very good friends. For some time one of my best friends, but I'm afraid we might have lost him for awhile. I think my friend has some sort of bi-polar/skitzophrenia disorder. He enjoyed a large quantity of drugs for a period of time and it seems to have disloged something. His father, F, came into town today. F is a rather impressive guy. Big time attorney, smart, calm, cool and collected. I've only met him once or twice, but I could see the worry in his eyes when he stepped out of the hotel and into my car. It was palpable. I've never been close to anyone whose child went missing. But it felt as though this man's child was missing. I know generally where his son is. Hell, I could call him or text him right now. But he's definitely missing. Something came loose and nothing has been the same since.

This post is about F. I felt so horrible for him. You could tell that being estranged from his son was absoulutely eating him alive and that he knew there was absolutely nothing he could do. Its terribly sad to see someone so accomplished and who seems to be such a good guy totally demoralized and frightened because he fears for his son and is afraid the boy he used to know and the young man he became may have just left us all forever. It was the unknowing, the fright. I wish I could tell him more, tell him everything is going to be ok, that his son will be the person he knows again, soon. But I couldn't.

I just have no concept of what its like to even have a child, much less fear for that child's well-being on a minute-by-minute basis. Knowing how the sadness I feel paled in comparison to what he was feeling was almost too much for me to bear.

I beleive this would be the ultimate test of pure blind faith. Faith that something, someone out there is in control and that things really do happen for reasons we are incapable of understanding. I guess I just wonder if I have it.

Old Flames

Its always interesting when two people who dated long ago decide to find each other and meet up for drinks, dinner, or who knows what. So many questionmarks. Possible more than on any blind date. This is serious fodder for a new reality show. I suggest integrating the bubble commentary as seen on the famous "Blind Date." Lets do a little he's thinking she's thinking.

She's Thinking:

Is it a date? Will he offer to pay? Where will we go? Will old flames be rekindled only to be doused by reality? Is he fat? Will those old feelings of passion re-emerge? Can we just sit and eat as "friends"? Will he try and give me a "good night kiss"..will I like it? maybe more?
Will he talk about his wife? Will he squirm when I ask? What are his intentions? Are the noble? Does he love her? What about his kids? Are they good kids? Is he a good dad?

He's Thinking:

I wonder what she looks like? I hope she's still hot.. Is she seeing anyone? Is this going to be awkward? Wonder if she's seeing anyone? Think she'd still be interested in me?
Is she goign to ask about my wife? I hope not. Hmmm. wonder how the pictures of the kid will go over? Will she order the lobster like she always did? Should I pay? I should pay.
Will she still think i'm good looking? Will we still have that old connection?

Well, here we go....

tune in at 11

Of Closed Doors & Pencils

This post requires visulaization. Picture yourself if you like.

I was talking to a friend of mine who works at a huge law firm and is a very successful attorney when she described a really, really great idea she had just conceived. (Roll the mental footage)

Fist, you find a yellow #2 pencil that hasn't been sharpened just yet.
DECISION: The more advanced test would use a perfectly round, skinny pencil, the less advanced should use the old school octagonal kind.

Second, close your office door. Lock it.

Now, drop your pants. (yes, underwear and all)

Finally, taking the pencil, see if you can hold it up using your butt cheek alone. No cheating

Accoding to my friend, who performed this self examination in a large, high rise law building, you butt is simply too fat if you can hold up a pencil in this manner.

If you actually go through with this, I hope you at least have good sense not to tell anyone.